Rant Resolution

Wednesday, May 20th 2015

[At rise: Following a tense family situation, Mother is reprimanding Son.]

Me: Gavin! You are seven years old. I know you could clearly see I was on the PHONE. I am not one of those mothers who is on the phone all the time. And those rare times that I AM, it is not your privilege to interrupt me! My whole life is structured around being present for you. I pay someone over $500 a month to answer all my work calls and emails so that I can be present in your life. I only answer the phone when it’s important to us personally, like FAMILY. You do not get to ask for my attention when I’m on the phone, do you understand?

G: Yes Mama, I understand.

Me: Good! The only time I want you interrupting me on the phone is if you’re on FIRE, or have been partially eaten by a BEAR. Got it?

G: Yes Mama. Or by any other kind of animal right?

[Scene.]

For example.

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VANITY DAY

Friday, May 15th 2015

Livin the Dream

Livin’ the Dream

 

To fulfill a dream you first need the Idea.  You need to schedule actionable steps on your calendar, and enough monetary discretion to do so.  Therefore what you REALLY need is for no fires going off in your life!  Apparently this is the case for us for the first time… ever.

I/we have been dreaming of our bathroom makeover since soon after we moved in here, over 2 & 1/2 years ago. Being extremely frugal I have been slowly accumulating components of it piecemeal. The feel we are going for is NATURE.  This is to help symbolically assuage the dire lack of access to it while city living in a CONDO.  (Both Paul and I grew up SURROUNDED by nature.)  The bathroom is to be a bit of an Oasis Escape… basically every time you shower or poop or pee.  Or pretend to do any of those things in order to escape the children.

I painted it in colored textures last fall, but both the colors and the finish of the paint resulted in epoch FAIL. We have been living with it in half disrepair since then. One reason this project has become important to me is it would be the first significant project that my husband and I would pull off together just for the joy of it.  Something that we dreamed together.  IF we pull it off that is.

Somehow this week Hubby & I sat down together like Real Grownups and looked at our calendars and figured stuff out.  We could actually see stuff coming this week instead of just dealing with it when it’s in our faces. Miraculously we set aside Friday morning for “GO TO LOWE’S.” Even more miraculously, it *happened.*

First we had to get the kids to school, and convince my best friend we were going to the *hardware store,* not the *movies* (although either would have been equally indulgent.)

"Lowe's," not "Leow's"

“Lowe’s,” not “Leow’s”

 

We’d done online research and targeted Lowe’s, although being in there mainly made me miss Home Depot.  I couldn’t believe the derelict state of displays and lack of customer support, but EUREKA we found it anyway;  a bathroom cabinet sink and hardware that both fit our specs AND we both loved.   We spent about $100 more than intended, but it was worth not risking this project continuing to hang over our heads for any more  months.

Our next task was to get a plumber.  Or was it?   Here my DH stops to contemplate whether his “brute strength and ignorance” are enough to do the job:

Will he go for it?

Will he go for it?

 

Conclusion?  Only way to find out:

Yes

Yes he does

 

And what does every Handyman need?  His wife hanging around to question his ability and take pictures;

My DH the Handyman

My My Handyman

 

So far so good, by the way.  He unhooked our old sink cabinet without disaster  The rest is still in process.  (Turns out the new one has a fru-fru shelf-drawer thing inside blocking the space for the pipes wouldn’t you know, so today we’re working on removing it… well, *DH* is, since I have to go to work.)

One of the best perks though?   Naturally, the Box!

Handy Boy

Handy Boy

 

Gavin set about to cutting his windows and access holes IMMEDIATELY upon coming home.   Besides, how many opportunities do you get use a hand saw when you’re a kid?

Cardboard Castle Kids

Cardboard Castle Kids

 

Though perhaps he got a bit carried away with “Gavin’s fort!”

"We will kill you!"

“We will kill you!”

 

In any case, to celebrate; Daddy Style home-made sushi dinner.

Daddy's Love

DaddyLove’s Love

 

ClaraJane is under the weather, but rallied for this;

Girl Medicine

Girl’s Fravrite Medicine

 

And Gavin guarded his new fort all night long;

Fort Castle Guard

Fort Castle Guard

 

And there you have Vanity Day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Boy Art

May 2015

*S*wag

*S*wag

 

What’s on a (now) 7 year old Boy’s mind?  Candy, apparently.

10 ton's of candy!

“10 tons of candy!!!”

 

And war stuff, naturally.

Cold War One

“Cold War One”

 

It seems -to their mothers’ dismay- males are born with it in their genes.

Meanwhile what I like about this artwork is the detail.  What impresses me is his discovery of drawing block letters, which I distinctly remember not figuring out until about 3rd grade (vs. his *1st*).  Now that I’m writing this I remember him watching me draw some recently and having an “aha” moment… but it’s not like I taught him or anything.

And I don’t know what the “Swag” business is all about either.

Or,

This

This

 

I will ask him, but right now your guess is as good as mine.  To me it mainly means an example of my kids growing up and having their own minds, and my being left scratching my head.

Like the other night when he didn’t want to snuggle but that is another story!

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Castle Island Moms

Sunday, May 10th 2015 – Mother’s Day Continued

 

f

Symbiosis

 

After making it to my Mother’s Day gig and back and Daddy’s collection of Food and M.I.L., then just like that we’re at Castle Island Beach for dinner and a show.

M.I.L. /Mom/ Bubble Wow!

M.I.L. /Mom/ Bubble Wow!

 

I can think of nothing more natural than the ease with which kids take to sand and water:

Beach

Beach Babies

 

Add to that AIRPLANES flinging themselves into the sky overhead at regular intervals, and you’ve got yourself a SHOW.

Baby and a Show

Baby and a Show

 

We know this from past experience.

But then add a circus of KITE SURFERS,

Spectating the Kite Surfer Circus

Spectating the Kite Surfer Circus

 

Eat your chicken,

Boys

It’s a Rough Life, Boys

 

Sit back, relax and eat your chicken,

Girls

Tough Life Girls

 

Go bouldering halfway ’round the cove with your dad, or give your mom the special treat of playing harmoniously with your sibling;

 

And VOILA.  You’ve got it.

Castle Island Moms

Castle Island Moms

 

A veritable, proverbial Happy Mother’s Day.

Rainbow Ruffles

THE END.

 

 

 

 

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Mother’s Day 2015

Sunday May 10th 2015

Round One

Round One

With my tea; strawberries, oranges AND raspberries, lovingly arranged by Gavin himself.

 

Round Two

Round Two

A half-eaten piece of dried up leftover pizza.   “Just kidding!”  (Humour appreciated!)

 

Round Three

Round Three

Toasted bagel with lox, capers, chopped onion, cracked pepper, hard boiled egg oh my.

 

The Genius Behind the Culinary Art

The DaddyLove Genius Behind it All

 

Clearly my son needs to be eating this stuff more than I do.  But hmm, someone is still missing;

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MAMMA!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY MAMMA!

 

My daughter, in her favorite outfit of love and stars, per usual.

Then things become complicated as these munchkins climb into the bed to munch my breakfast for me.  So I bag it and bring the whole enterprise back to the kitchen, but it sure was a spectacular bedside performance!

 

Crazy Blessed

Crazy Blessed

 

That all moms could be this lucky.

 

[To be continued…]

 

 

 

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Spring Tea with ClaraJane 2015

Friday, May 8th 2015

Imagine my delight at discovering *I* was ClaraJane’s chosen recipient of her invitation to Spring Tea at School.

2015-05-05 07.01.51-1

Like Winning the Lottery

 

With all her Daddy does for her I’m not sure I’m worthy, but who am I to decline?

Before

Getting Ready

 

In fact, when I delivered the rest of the home-made Snicker Doodle Cookies and lemon cake frosting from Paul’s loving efforts, Ms. Mayya took them gratefully, remarking; “Jenny, how on earth did you ever find such a wonderful husband?”   (He had also come to school yesterday to guide all the children through the baking preparations.  His 6’9″ frame bent over them sitting at a 16 inch tall table no less… no photos!)

First, it was Classroom 283’s turn to go to the office to perform morning announcements.

In Line

Calm Body, Hands Behind Back… (sometimes!)

 

Then back to the classroom.

Spring Tea Time

Tea Time

 

ClaraJane escorted me by hand to our personally set table, pulled out my chair and asked,  “What would you like to drink?”  A quick peruse of the menu and the choice was clear;

... Iced Tea Please

… Iced Tea Please!

 

Students serve their guests first, then themselves.

"Don't eat yet!"

“Don’t eat yet Mom!”

 

After serving and seating herself, it was time to begin.  First with a toast, then nibbling happy together.

Ladies at Tea

Ladies at Tea

 

We had coordinated our outfits and hair.  One dad remarked, “You look like twins!”  Then ClaraJane clarified to me;  “But I have *cute* braids and you don’t.”   Fair enough, although according to this report from a mom friend, Gavin may feel otherwise:

I'll take it.

 

Next to our table was this charming little Montessori work containing samples of Water, Land and Air.

Water, Land, Air

Montessori World

 

At the end of the tea we were presented with hand-decorated pots of planted spider plants for Mother’s Day (although anyone can be the child’s guest of honor; in addition to fathers I also saw a sibling, an uncle, and a school administrator).

Here Mom

“Here Mom.  It’s for you.  I made it!  And it’s called a ‘Spider Plant.’  But there are no spiders on it.”    

 

With that we were thanked for coming, and we applauded the children.

ClaraJane with Ms. Mayya and Ms. KariAnne

ClaraJane with Ms. Mayya and Ms. KariAnn

 

Here is Ms. Mayya’s Review:

from Ms. Mayya

Grace, Courtesy and Practical Life, Oh My

 

The toughest part?  Leaving, chiefly in the face of your child’s sweet pleas to NOT leave, please!  But ClaraJane was a “graceful and proud host,”  and did relent without too much of a fuss, and let me (leave so I could come back again soon to retrieve her).

Her heart makes mine burst

Her heart makes mine burst

 

 

And now you know about Spring Tea, Tobin Montessori Style.

Melt

And Melt

 

Thank you ClaraJane!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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All Star Birthday Bar (Gavin’s 7th)

May 1st 2015 – Continued

Later on Gavin’s 7th Birthday;

Pizza & Love

Pizza & Love

 

After school, the arrival of Grandma Z, and 7 presents from Mom;

Gifts and Grandma

Gifts PLUS Grandma

 

We all went out for Pizza!

Pizza Bar Gang (con Sangria)

All Star Pizza Gang (con Sangria)

 

I had to join late from a gig, but this is what greeted me when I did arrive:

"I Like Pig Butts and I Cannot Lie"

“I Like Pig Butts and I Cannot Lie”

 

Meanwhile my sister Amanda got some wonderful shots of the kids:

BAM

BAM

 

Glam Glasses

Glasses never had it so good…

 

Girl in Training and Baby Lover

Girl in Training with her Most Ardent Fan

 

Afterwards we walked ALL the way across the street for Ice Cream:

Ice Cream Conference

Ice Cream Conference

 

There is a 25¢ candy machine there to boot, with SUPER BALLS no less.  And moi just happened to be packing an entire ROLL of quarters just for the occasion.  (Big spender I know.)  So there was a run on the candy machine and especially on Super Balls bouncing everywhere.  Such a coup!

At the end I extorted from Gavin a reprise of his  “Final Countdown” Dance Moves to earn his *final* quarter, which he did obligingly… instantly spewing super balls back out of his pockets bouncing all around the store.  (Ya, ya had to be there but it was still priceless.)

TWO Grandmas, two cousins, Auntie, an Uncle,  Mom, Dad & Sister.  So simple yet so very fun.  And our neighborhood retail strip is so dearly enchanting.  Seriously we need to do this more often!

Not her birthday (also impossible not to photograph)!

Not her birthday. (Also impossible not to photograph!)

 

Happy Birthday Gavin!

 

 

 

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Gavin’s 7th Birthday – Mochi Morning

May 1st 2015

On the eve of Gavin’s 7th Birthday, he and his sister got ready for bed:

Gavin and Diaper Head Ninja

Gavin and Diaper Head Ninja

 

Shared stories with Dada (a treat since Gavin mostly reads by himself these days):

Pop-Up Lorax

Pop-Up Lorax

 

And ended up in our bed by morning time.

Angels in Bed:  My Favorite

Angels in Bed: My Favorite

 

Woke him up like this:  MOCHI MORNING Video [1min, 36secs]:

 

Their getting along so sweetly was apparently a birthday gift back to me.  ClaraJane systematically ate her way around the chocolate chips rimming the plate (save a couple for her brother).  And the Ice-Cream-Cone Cupcakes were apparently a hit with his classmates at school.

Stay tuned for hopefully the rest of that epoch day, including:

1)  IEP Evaluation Meeting (Individual Education Plan for our dear now 7 year-old Absent Minded Professor)

2)  Arrival of Grandma Z, and

3)  Pizza and Ice cream with Family GANG

 

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Here You Go

Monday, April 27th 2015

Carnivore or Predator

“Carnivore” or “Predator” ?

 

In the car after school today, I happened to have some very well received salami and cheese for the kids’ snack; especially the salami, turns out.

“What’s a carnivore again?” my Boy asks, finally satiated.

“A meat-eating creature,” I remind him.
“Oh yeah, yeah. I was getting it mixed up with ‘predator,'” he says, “But I’m pretty much a carnivore.”

I concur, yet point out he’s also a predator.  “A predator of SALAMI that is.”

Enjoying the joke, now we are musing about the rare and fabled SALAMI creature… one whose whole body and head and limbs are made of salami… running along with no elbows or knees.  Funny imagery.  Then, flash!  “Someone should make a poodle dog balloon out of salami!” I suggest, inventively.  Gavin agrees.  “I bet someone already has,” I say. “No way are we the first people ever to think of making a poodle dog balloon out of salami.”

How about let’s check? I don’t usually Google every little thing, but this particular whim has me pull out my phone and say; “OK Google, please show image of a poodle dog balloon made out of salami.”

Immediately we hear, “PICTURES-OF-POODLE-DOG-BALLOON-MADE-OUT-OF-SALAMI, HERE-YOU-GO.” blasted through my bluetooth enabled car speakers in that unmistakable computer lady voice.

Gavin, ClaraJane and I are all cracking up. So delicious.  As you navigate these little people around all the time -ages 4 and 6 at the moment- and deal with all their junk and disparate interests and problems, when something cracks ALL OF YOU up together at once… it is cathartic and priceless.

The instant timing of the clear loud factual computer lady voice followed by “HERE YOU GO,” slayed us all. I’m positive this story falls into the “had to be there” category. But my hope with this post -as with most- is that one day down the road my kids will be able to stumble upon it and get transported back to this absurd and wonderful moment in their childhood… or another.

HERE YOU GO.

Thanks Google

Gee thanks, Google

 

PS:  Not proud of the unadulterated carnivorous tendencies of my children per se, I just happened to have married a chef (um… non-vegetarian).   It runs in their blood.  I recognize this is not good for the ultimate preservation of the planet.  Baby steps.   CircusKitchen, Baby.

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Stop Right Now

Sunday, April 26th 2015

The problem with trying to curate media about your favorite material around your favorite material is you can’t resist generating more media as you do.

For example, I’m trying to steal this morning to post about our wonderful day yesterday, but the darn kids continue to be so very much themselves, and I cannot resist.

This Boy for example, on a skateboard:

A Sliver Shy of Seven

A Sliver Shy of Seven

 

And this Girl too:

Very Nearly Four

Very Nearly Four

 

I take the photos because I am ever present to the indisputable fact “they grow up so fast.” I steal these jewels of the present moment to hoard them away forever.

Then suppose you regain focus to return to what you WERE blogging about, then suddenly receive this hand delivered note:

Boy's New Persuasive Technique

Gavin’s New Persuasive Device

 

Then just as when you Give a Mouse A Cookie, when you Feed the Boy Some Food, he invariably gets affectionate and needs to hug you, with his face in your face:

Food Buzz Love

Food Buzz Love

 

Then afterwards, even though you try to ignore them, they are in such a good mood they play together magically, still (mostly) naked no less:

The “Mushroom Game”

 

I’m afraid this perpetual compulsion is an affliction from which I will never recover.  If I ever turn up missing, you will invariably find me flailing about inside a swirling ocean of photos, videos and memories.

On the other hand, maybe in another life I was a war-time correspondent.  As I type I am under siege of heated balloon-batting warfare between my two boys.  I keep getting bonked in the head and hands, like they expect me to play or something.

What is their deal?

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