CircusKitchen Oberhauser Four

January 2021

I’ve been meaning for ages to make a post for collecting the pix of all four of us.

Y’know, cuz flamly is everything.

Today I will start imperfectly with just ONE.

Graffiti Alley, Cambridge MA – December 2020


More to come.


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Meal Abandoned: A Poem

Saturday, January 16th 2020


Meal Abandoned




And alack!

I ate chew.

N I ain’t comin’ back.




Posted in art, childhood, comedy, domestic life, faith, family, food, forgiveness, global inequity, health, learning, love, mental health, parenthood, parenting, patience, work | Leave a comment

Post-Insurrection Meditation Exercise

Monday, January 11th 2020


Inspired by these words below here, on this day I signed up for an online meditation thing.


This person Dr. Amanda Kemp is someone whose black voice I’d like to tune to, and amplify when possible.

I get that this country was based on abduction, genocide, rape, religious hypocrisy and systemic violence against blacks, women and Native Americans.

And I get that I need to listen to nonwhite voices and amplify them when possible.

Also, when events of the world are stressful, I understand that *action* is the best form of self-care.


So I log on at 11am for this 15 minute action. We “hold space for transformation,” “get into our bodies,” “connect with breath,” and focus on an “intention that is aspirational and beyond the anxiety; a higher being to bring into yourself and your being.” Like “Love” or something.

We spend a few moments (90 seconds actually), focused and breathing together in light of the recent state of affairs what with our Nazi president inciting violent seditious insurrection. You know.

After giving space to our feelings (outrage, disgust, incredulity), we are then asked to share what more vulnerable feelings might lie underneath.

I notice that under my outrage is a sadness, grief and fear, because I also see myself in those repugnant, despicable hateful, disgusting, brainwashed tRump supporters. Like them I am also human and am capable of horrible violence, at least in spirit. I see their hate, and I feel hate. I see them wishing harm and doing harm, and I wish harm upon them.

Take this guy for example (real or not);

While there is debate as to whether this guy’s fatal heart attack was from tasing his own balls or just from what a hard-on he had for cosplaying “Nazi Militia” with his homies.

Either way, I find myself 100% fine with the fact that he died. And wishing *lots* more of them lost would have their lives during the insurrection. And fantasizing about lots more of them winning similar Darwin Awards. And I would be fine with the Capital Police blowing holes through as many of their heads as possible and not just the sole woman they did that to.

So there’s that. I ‘m not proud of these feelings. I am acknowledging them though. I know that violence is not the answer. And I have no wish to INCITE violence. But I see I have violence in my heart. It would be nice not to have it but I think first I need to understand that it is there.

Gee you think I need more meditation practice?


Lastly, I noticed that -while I am wrestling my inner demons- I am interconnected with a circle of people who are aspirational and working on bringing peace and healing into the world.

And they’re. ALL. WOMEN.

Every single last one of them.

ONLY women. NOT. ONE. MAN. Signed up for a 15 minute exercise in the interest of elevating consciousness and bringing about healing.

What a fucking bill of goods we’ve been sold in society; indoctrinating us with the notion that it is MEN who are wise, powerful and most qualified for leadership.


Only a society with women and minorities represented in governance will have any chance at peace and equity.

Of this I am sure.


Posted in activism, art, Black Lives Matter, Corona Quarantine, fighting Fascism, history, learning, mental health, politics, Religious Hypocrisy, social justice, spirituality, tragedy, what’s “work-life balance?”, work-life balance | Leave a comment

A Real Live Birthday Party

Sunday, January 10th 2020

ClaraJane arrives at the scene


Girlfriend got to go to a for-real party with all the girls from her class.


They played ball, roasted marshmallows and hot dogs, drank hot chocolate, hung out by a fire, ran around. All if it masked and outdoors. Thank heavens for mild weather.


I even saw and got to talk to other parents in real life at pick up time. So surreal!

Such a welcome elixir.

Someone’s sleeping good tonight.


Posted in childhood, Corona Quarantine, faith, health, history, love, mental health, parenthood, parenting, school | Leave a comment

AT RISE: My Hair is Cold

Saturday, January 9th 2021

AT RISE: At home.

BOY: My hair is cold.

MOM: Put on a hat.

BOY: [Pause.] No thanks.



Posted in childhood, Clowning, comedy, Corona Quarantine, domestic life, family, health, learning, love, mental health, parenthood, parenting, what’s “work-life balance?” | Leave a comment


Saturday, January 9th 2020


I organized something that I don’t know what it is!

There is an online video game called “Among Us” that is some kind of social “whodunnit” sleuth kind of experience you can do with others.

Because of some of the social ills that have come out of a year full of shit and quarantine, I was inspired by a fellow parent to organize a game for our kids who usually go camping together (and whose names affectionately spell “SPLOOP.”)

  1. We agreed to a time
  2. I sent a group email proposing the idea.
  3. At 4:45pm he emailed everyone the *link* for a Google Meet, so the kids could log on to see and chat with each other while playing.
  4. At 5pm my son emailed everyone the Among Us *code* to play the same game together.

With barely a “hey,” seamlessly the got right to work; troubleshooting technical problems and jumping into play.

Now they are busy typing away and chatting and sleuthing and accusing and proposing “tasks” and voting and asking each other questions and sharing info and troubleshooting together.


SPLOOP AMONG US, with “Fox,” “Arson,” “Eggplant,” “SuperStar,” “a chinese character that looks like X,” and “JINGLEBELLS!”


“If I die, it was Zaida.”

“Wait, who died?”

“Who are we voting for?”

“OK everyone watch me do a task.”

“I can prove that I’m clear. I can do med bay scan! Follow me. Look!”

“I can’t tell who’s the imposter but it’s Eggplant.”

“I think it was Arson.”

“No it wasn’t.”

“Eggplant! You did not do the task.”

“What! Oh my god! OK fine! Vote me off.”

“Yeah but when someone kills you, you don’t say it.”

“What kind of pet should I have? Alien Dog, Red Crab or…”

“Get the Alien Dog.”

“I disconnected.”

“Why am I BROWN?”

“Here! I’ll read out my tasks!”


The glorious thing about this is I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what they’re doing. (Bonus fact: Generally, I hate video games. lol!)


“Now let’s play again. And if you die, don’t tell anybody!”

“Guys I’ll BRB. I need to go AFK.”

(Which translates to: “I’ll Be Right Back. I need to go Away From Keyboard.“)


Posted in art, camping, childhood, comedy, Corona Quarantine, domestic life, health, history, learning, love, mental health, parenthood, parenting, siblings, work-life balance | Leave a comment

SEDITION! Aka: #FreeRandyRainbow

Friday, January 2021th


SEDITION! – A Randy Rainbow Parody [3:45]:


How enamored I am and indebted we are to Randy Rainbow for his tireless efforts trying to salvage any shreds of sanity throughout this entire “administration” from hell.

And how I hope he gets a break SOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!



Posted in activism, Black Lives Matter, border family separation, comedy, Corona Quarantine, faith, fight, fighting Fascism, history, mental health, music, politics, racial injustice, Religious Hypocrisy, tragedy | Leave a comment

At Rise: Home School Helper

Thursday, December 17th 2020

AT RISE: CJ is at her Distance Learning school desk at home, starting to type on her Chromebook. Mom is sitting next to her.

MOM: OK, are you all set?

CJ: Mm-hmm.

MOM: Do you need anything?

CJ: Nope.

MOM: Do you want me to take your Kindle and your stuffy so they won’t be a distraction?

CJ: [Grabs stuffed animal into a tight hug. Deliberately places Kindle aside.]

MOM: OK, do you want me to take your banana peel?

CJ: [Hands Mom banana peel without looking away from computer screen.]

MOM: OK. You’re all set? Do you want help spelling ‘butt‘?


MOM: [Starts to fake cry.] You don’t NEED me anymore??

CJ: No. I DON’T. Now go away!

MOM: [Suppresses a smile. Goes away. *Free*… for a few minutes.]



Posted in At RISE, childhood, CJ Sez, comedy, Corona Quarantine, domestic life, education, health, history, homeschool, learning, love, parenthood, parenting, patience, school, work-life balance | Leave a comment

Best Christmas Movie of My Life

Sunday, December 13th 2020

I’m sorry but right now this is the Best. Christmas. Movie. Of my life.

Every Parent at Christmas (by The Holderness Family) [4:06]:


Posted in art, childhood, comedy, domestic life, family, fight, forgiveness, love, making art, marriage, mental health, money, parenthood, tragedy, work-life balance | Tagged | Leave a comment

Hospital Clowning: Face at Work

Thursday, December 3rd 2020

Performing over Zoom today, practicing the craft:

Working on it…



Posted in art, Clowning, comedy, Corona Quarantine, famiglia, health, Laughter League, learning, love, making art, mental health, Performing Life, Secret Juggler, work | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment