Tuesday, December 12th 2017
At the risk of bragging overmuch about my kids… I choose this moment to share the fact that for years I have been accumulating what I call “Evidence They Get Along.” It’s a file on my computer where I collect images of my children in relationship with each other. Peace Begins at Home. And while siblings may have among the most challenging of relationships to navigate, if you can’t love your own SIBLING from your own HOME, what hope is there for Peace in the World?
So I collect this evidence -it feels forensic- that I may have proof of this goodness upon my death. As I have literally said before and will repeat; I consider their relationship with each other my life’s work. I cannot control them, but I can give them every bit of coaching, support, encouragement and tools in my possession to help figure it out. Their relationship with each other will be (the most prized part of) my legacy.
Alas, even at this early stage -at 6 and 9 years old- collecting this “evidence” is starting to feel almost gratuitous, except for it being basically my Favorite Thing. I “catch” them being thoughtful and kind to each other on a regular basis, and praise them accordingly. I let them know in no uncertain terms that exactly such ways of being are what make our family great, make The World a better place; that I appreciate it and I’m proud of them. In addition to the classic sibling irritations and squabbles, it becomes more and more obvious that they are practicing a rich, affectionate, loving and mutually supportive relationship. I truly believe they will be among each other’s greatest allies throughout their lives and I think I could literally ask for nothing greater.
So, ya. Pretty much. That.