Friday, November 13th 2015

We are blessed by friends and family sending in their support to mom and to us, often with reminders to take care of the caregiver.  I’m not the caregiver, because mom has a nonstop stream of medical professionals coming into her room every 2 seconds to check on her, more or less.  Joy.

On Wednesday of this week though, a a couple great things happened.  First of all, Mom had me tell her housecleaner to please not come (since she wouldn’t be there to let her in). So, Rosemary, the housecleaner, asked me if she’d like me to come to MINE.  Er… didn’t have to think to hard on that one.  OK!  In the nine years we’ve been together Paul and I have never hired a housecleaner for ourselves before, but I was ready.

Rosemary, by ClaraJane

Man oh man, it is amazing having someone from OUTSIDE your family come in and clean the hell UP.  Honestly it feels uplifting, inspiring and even empowering.  I’ve enjoyed a greater peace of mind and improved focus and sense of possibility in her wake.  What’s more, her presence inspired ClaraJane, who; drew her the above picture, wrote her name with my help, and -then when I wasn’t looking- wrote her name two more times without any help at all.

ROSEMAR… (oops)

My (4 y/o) baby is writing!

RosemARy

Moreover on Wednesday, Mom finally got to leave the hospital and get transferred… to another hospital!  (Emerson in Concord, MA.)  She’s finally unhooked from all the chi-chi cords… and is now free to enjoying free-wheeling chi-chi.  Ha.

By the time the kids and I got to the first hospital on Wednesday, she was already gone, so we had lunch in the cafeteria and then went out for ice cream.  It was such a rare treat to have such an unstructured afternoon with the kids, Gavin even blurted, “This is the best day of my life with you!” or something like that.

I take that as a token that the Mindfulness work I’ve been doing is paying off.  Just the ability (occasionally!) to be present without trying to change anything.  I certainly catch myself innumerable times throughout my day these days and bring myself back to the present, back to the breath, back to whatever blessings are right before me.  (Like right now: ten working fingers, keyboard, computer, electricity, wifi, good coffee, shelter, clothing, hygiene, faculties of mind and body… holy hell.  Amazing right?  I even have some cute fuzzy animals dotting the domicile, sunshine and wind in the leaves outside the windows and a big ManSlab of Hubsand -I hate to admit it- folding laundry.)  But enough about me.

Here are the kids in awe at the indoor waterfall we chanced upon after ice cream.

111 Huntington

Today is Friday and we intend to visit Mom after school today. Her spirits have been impressively good, honestly. She even has humor. She says she is making progress that even she has to admit, although it is so little that she says we are “not allowed to use any qualifiers, like ‘great’ or ‘good.'” Yesterday (Thursday 11/12) she enjoyed a visit and some sandwich from her Son-in-Law Paul, and last night on the phone she was flying high on the pain meds. Her mind was getting very interesting and free-floating. She was both lucid and coherent and creative and non-sequitor somehow, and we enjoyed each other’s company that way. I’m trying to be careful not to be preachy, but she was somewhat receptive to a bit of coaching on centering her mind. Just observing the present, enjoy this opportunity for pain-free rest, and breathe. Tomorrow’s another day.

And alas, here it is.  Tomorrow is today.

My sister recently told me, “You don’t *have* to blog.”  I almost choked.  Because yes I do.  Blogging *IS* my oxygen.

Breathe in.  Breathe out.