Ugh! How I love these annoying Rug Rats! Aren’t they enormous? I’ve hardly blogged any family stuff since pandemic and starting the band last year, but here we are at a slightly sentimental juncture, wherein they are heading to paradise under the unequivocal dotage of their inordinately talented Grandma in *Florida.*
They’re not unaccompanied minors exactly; as he is 15, she is his “companion,” as well as the tallest most 17 year-old looking 12 year-old you have ever seen.
Daddy on the Outside, Momb on the Inside
Daddy does Cellphone Lot Duty as I am unexpectedly cleared all the way to the gate, just like Ye Aulden Times in my Unaccompanied Minor career in the 1970’s. (So last century!) I wonder if I too used that bonus time with parental units to assail them with my overall disgust and derision? When not ignoring them that is?
It’s not that I’m going to miss them too muchly, because of course this is a temporary and welcome change for everyone. But I am already dreading how much they will despise coming back after a week of having their every whim and desire curated and fulfilled by the greatest host that ever lived, Director of the self-titled “Camp Zeigler;” Grandma Z & her trust side-kick Grandpa Jack!
Gone are the days of running amuck in the little indoor airport playground Couple final *hugs and **photos
Look a beautiful, heartfelt, willing selfie with “Tween & Momb!”
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First blog post about family in a loooong time. But, to quote my favorite quote;
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”~Arthur Ashe
So, yesterday afternoon my -now 11 year old child in 6th grade- informed me that “There’s kind of this thing happening at school in the morning and you can come.”
What!?! Alarms go off in my head.
First of all; my child is talking to me. Frankly that is rare these days.
Secondly; there is a thing at school *tomorrow* and I’m just finding out about it.
Thirdly; holy crap and praise be to allah I happen to be FREE tomorrow morning!
PHE-fricking-EEW.
Fast forward to the kitchen this morning and my child is giving me the usual prickly directives for the morning preparation; honestly one of the only times she talks to me these days. I am instructed to NOT call her any pet names in front of her friends at school, and to NOT wear that stupid hat with the ears on it that I wore last time chaperoning the field trip. OK!?!?
Once at school I’m instructed to wait in the car for “Ten-ish minutes.” I get in my one phone call to Baby-Daddy Hubsand from this hostage situation long enough for him to mock me before the child re-appears and summons me to follow her into the school.
I am suddenly in a *school* of fish-like students and other presumably clueless parents filing up the staircase and through the hallways. A quick stop at the locker and into a classroom we go.
I say to my child, “Thank you for inviting me to this today.”
And get this; she *looks* at me, SMILES (warmly!) and says, “You’re welcome.”
PRICE OF ADMISSION RIGHT THERE PEOPLE!
1) Her beautiful fingers, and the earrings she made just this morning. 2) Dodging the camera. 3) I don’t remember Math presentations looking like this when I was in school…
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Now we are looking at work. An online math presentation. Then a notebook full of observations about volcanoes and such.
Here’s where my story takes a turn. Next to us is a child displaying strange behavior; whacking their notebook against their forehead. I didn’t know if we had a developmental situation or what, until I asked if her grownups were not here. She broke down in tears and nodded yes, and I broke down in tears too. And I tell you this child is so resilient that when I ask if she will show me her notebook, she DOES. And happily! And just like that I now have TWO kids -who praise allah again just happen to be in all the same classes- happily navigating me through the paces. I am so proud of ClaraJane for being willing to share her mom for this morning. The impact of seeing a child whose parent did not show up is practically unbearable, especially knowing that it is just random-ass luck and the grace of god or whatever that I do not also happen to be that absent parent this morning.
ClaraJane’s story in English Language Arts is so descriptive and riveting it is almost haunting. My lord that child can W R I T E. IMHO! (Too bad she purportedly hates to do so?) And the story from my “second” child this morning showed such beautiful insight into her cultural position in the school and her robust self-awareness, resilience, sweetness and generosity of spirit.
I was fighting back tears all morning people.
NAME: CJ Oberhauser. TITLE: Monday’s a Year Away
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I get glimpses of some of the super star staff members I know, each of whom deserve gift cards for massages and fancy dinners and wine for the holidays. And I will be lucky to even write them an email of thanks.
Finally, into the cafeteria we flow. The kids are beside themselves with the scandal of donuts and cupcakes and other sundries. A sweet friend of my kid says goodbye to me. I lean in for a hug to say goodbye and he recoils. “No,” he says, “It’s just that you’re LEAVING now.” LOL He is kicking me out!
Daughter now breaks the rules and drags me to GYM with her. I seem to be the only parent left in the building. I don’t know why. I really don’t know anything. She joins some friends in an effort to loosen a broken ceiling tile with a ball. Not willing to bear witness, I take this as my cue to leave with one final admonition; “You break it, you buy it!”
A couple more connections with staff members and I am out. Only to find myself outside in a circle with three other moms lamenting how underwhelmed they are by the absence of academic rigor in the school. They ask me what I think I and I hide behind some Montessori theory, remind us all that we’re still coming off the devastating impacts the pandemic has had on our kids’ functioning, reference the overwhelming mental health crisis that still rages on the frontlines of our Children’s Hospitals, and inquire about the social-emotional wellbeing of their kids.
It’s possible I did not come across as a sanctimonious anti-intellectual, as they shared appreciation for my perspective -and I theirs- before I retreated home and wrote this post.
Mon dieu!
That was absolutely harrowing.
Now I coil myself around my curiosity as to Gee. What’s. Next. !?
For starters, Imma publish this post without much editing before I start fucking it up with perfectionism.
I adore this clever video newsletter from my child’s 4th & 5th grade class because its so well written and produced, their voice is so crystal clear, and their spirit just leaps right out at you.
At the behest of my absolutely wonderful friend Lucho, I find my way to this real-life Roadhouse-style dive bar north of Boston for a weekly “Open Jam Session” north of Boston. I arrive to the garish blare of unadulterated American rock, and fight my instinct to bounce immediately. With a lot more effort than I would have preferred, I eventually burrow my way to a seat at the bar to take in the scene and wonder where Lucho and all these friends he talked about actually are.
They arrive in good time and with plenty of cheer and the calibre of music steadily climbs throughout the evening through an absolute swarm of musicians. Everyone is so surprisingly encouraging of me though, in spite of never having heard me before. Lucho talks me up to his friends. “Oh you sing and play ukulele? That’s so cool!” I neither see what is cool about that nor how I am supposed to parlay with the mood on the stage in any way. But I trust him.
After a lot of fun dancing and some great performances, it is is like; my turn.
The musicians on stage are starting to clear out for me when I mention I have a couple chords they could play. They sit back down, we get in a groove, and we’re off!
Lucho videos the first 40 seconds or so (Hank Williams), before coming on stage to take over the bass because “the guy was playing the wrong notes.” (True.)
What a thrill to look over on stage and suddenly find myself playing in a BAND with my FRIEND.
Wild!
The crowd goes wild actually, and I play another song (Paul Simon). The Open Jam host says it was awesome and asks if I can play another. The third one is more of a struggle with the band (CCR), but I dial in on the vocals and receive incredible accolades after with lots of folks giving me their contact info and asking to start music projects with me.
It all seems like a dream. Yet I know to breathe, try to ground myself and continue to embrace these portals that keep opening up in my life and which keep pouring experiences through me lately.
The very fact that I’ve barely blogged at all for the past six months is indicative of how inundated I’ve been.
To be clear, I am not complaining.
I understand my life to be a rich mosaic of overflowing cornucopias with plenty of earned blessings and unearned privileges.
Is it undiagnosed ADHD? Overabundance of enthusiasms? Too much blonde? Does it matter? IDFK.
My friend Brady once said; “I wish the world could just stop, so I could get back on.“
And I believe it was Robert Fulghum who said, like; ‘It’s important to pull your raft ashore every once in a while to take a look at where you’ve been, and where you’re going.’
And I’ll be damned if I’m not doing just that.
Because a trip abroad (to Healthcare Clown International Meeting in The Hague) was postponed for six months due to Covid, I am left with a bit of an unprecedented and magical breather in my schedule.
And because my family is understanding and supportive (or maybe just happy to get rid of me), and my kids are “old” enough to take care of some things themselves, I am afforded the latitude to GTFO.
I was looking to escape to any ol’ Air BnB -for coffee and wifi and no distractions- when along comes my magical sister Heather and her magical seaside abode. She is not using it for the exact three days I was looking to stay somewhere. Alas and alack; je suis la.
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An understatement.
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I also wanted a place that wasn’t too inspiring, because for once I’m *not* looking for a new adventure. I’m looking for a place where I can focus in peace without the distractions of my own domicile’s needs or it’s endlessly distracting inhabitants. A-hem.
But this is better than I could have dreamed because although it is absolutely and utterly stunning, beautiful, and inspiring; I am so privileged this place is already so familiar and I have already documented many happy family gatherings here in the past.
So now my bluff is called. For once in my life I have the mental and physical space, infrastructure and *time* to try to catch up to the Tornado of To Do’s.
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Taming the Tornado of To-Do’s
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But then not even God Herself could stop me from photographing and documenting anyway.
#HellaHull, Massachusetts
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Fast forward past the gritty details, and all things must end in one form or another.
Some highlights:
Blue Jays; seagulls; cormorants; a gluttonous lazy squirrel splayed out in an X-formation; a big ol’ bunny in the yard; countless dogs on leashed walks with their owners; and three suspiciously UNLEASHED wild-ass looking dogs who were actually COYOTES trotting by in extreme close proximity. Wow.
And these guys were also pretty cool; I just don’t know what kind of sea bird they are.
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Not least of all; SO many tasks done!! (Yet with so many still to do, of course.)
Even included a little TikToc, R&R, self-care, Netflix and Chill.
Yeah.
“Refreshed?”
Hell yes.
My next To Do?
How on earth to adequately say; “Thank you” to my #Sister!
We’re home now, and I am conscripted to go get ice cream to accompany the pie that is currently underway. I just need to remove the lap cat … as soon as I hit “publish.’”
circuskitchen 