Tuesday, April 14th 2020

(Please note this rant is from the day *before* things were coming to a head.  Now that we’re coming out the other side it feels safer to post, mostly just for posterity in this historical time.  Proceed at your own peril.)

I swear to god almighty in hell.  After the day I had yesterday in which there is no way I –me– could have more to give.

By the time we’re up this morning I get an email from the teacher letting me know ClaraJane missed her 3rd grade meeting today.

Nevermind that yesterday she had 3 school meetings and other online activities the entire day.  [Yes, my child.  The youngest child of the mom who is committed to protecting her children from too much screen time.]

Today instead, teacher has left a message for CJ in the “Google Classroom.”

CJ gets the message.  It says to start a… (drumroll please) NEW ONLINE PROGRAM!

So -daddy is home today- Daddy and her are working through that at lunch.

Then they undertake the science assignment.  Here he is helping her measure the friction of different surfaces using rollerskates:

And yes that is so totally awesome, but it is still fraught with peril and ends up with her curled up with a book under a chair… on top of a couch.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!

Teacher also needs CJ to sign up for a new online meeting to go over what she missed this morning.

She doesn’t know how to do it.  Daddy doesn’t know how to do it.

Guess what, I might!  I double check with teacher:

“Let me guess; the MESSAGE for the NEW APP is on the GOOGLE CLASSROOM,

but the SIGN UP for the ONLINE MEETING is on the CLASSROOM GOOGLE WEBSITE!?!”

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

I have no plans on being awake, dressed or ready to support anyone for a meeting with anyone at that time.  At this point I might plan to be dead.

This stress is killing me.  And I know there are parents across the land struggling with homeschooling.  But for some reason I am not in touch with any of them and I feel completely alone.  I mostly hear about people getting sick of their kids.  I’m not sick of my kids.  I’m sick of the absolutely relentless punishment of assignments, expectations, deadlines, MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS, WEBSITES and APPS.

I literally had the sweetest mom who I love dearly say to me, “HERE TRY THIS APP, IT MADE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER!!”  Call me defeatist but I did not try the f#cking APP.  (Mainly because she is not in my specific shoes and I am still desperate to find anyone who is.)

If one more person asks me to try another APP I swear this letter opener on my desk is going strait into my eye socket.

A for-real, pointy sharp LETTER OPENER.

Anyone else *see* *iron*y there??

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

♣