For What Purpose??

Tuesday, August 13th 2019

del purpose


My very intelligent, sweet, extremely articulate and cooperative (11 y/o) Boy successfully negotiated permission from me this morning to download Minecraft to his new computer.  I was actually glad to hear he wants to get back into it, on account of how it’s based on engineering and creativity, and without the violence.

After he went a few minutes over his allotted computer time today (currently at 90 minutes per day), we had a brief discussion about integrity and the difference between being on time or not.   We then negotiated his computer time to include an additional 5 minute “grace period” in order to “finish something up” as needed.  Great.

THEN, bless him, he asked if he could have “three more minutes” today.

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Me:  For what?

Him:  To download this other game I’ve had my eye on.

Me:  “Um, OK, I don’t get it.  We JUST negotiated the addition of Minecraft this morning.  What’s up with this other game?”

Him:  [Honestly I didn’t listen very well and he didn’t offer up anything notably persuasive.]

Then, bless him, here is the lecture he got from his mom.

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Me:  Look, as you know, I don’t even GET games.  WHY “games”?  For what??

Him:  Well, fun?

Me:  [Some grumpy ramblings, including:]  For what PURPOSE though??  For what kind of future is this helping you prepare?

Him:  Well, what purpose are cheese balls?  Or potato chips?

Me:  Right.  Just fun.  But those non-nutritious snacks are just a small entertaining part of a whole, constantly incoming relatively healthy diet!  Where are the other activities happening on your computer?  Did you practice your math today?  Or your typing?  Have you used your computer to make a movie?  What about writing something?

Him:  [Mumbling something incoherent and slinking away.]

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del Purpose-venn-diagram


It’s not my goal to “defeat” my children in persuasive discourse.  I take no pleasure in that.  But it is very satisfying when you find yourself cutting to the quick of the matter.

It’s like the one significant time he got caught playing a “single shooter” game at school, and got some privileges revoked in accordance to the school’s Technology Agreement.  Sitting in the cafeteria, he very thoughtfully said to me;


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Him:  OK.  Here’s my argument.  Almost EVERY KID in my class  -at least all those guys- play it [Roblocks].

Me:  Yes honey!  Yes.  That is true.  And that is a truth that is happening in your childhood.  And there’s nothing we can do about that.  But what I want to know is, how many of their parents are studying healthy brain development in kids?  That’s what I want to know.  If there ARE any, or any evidence it’s healthy for you, I’d love to hear all about it.

Him:  […]

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Shoot, score, win.

Again, not happy to defeat him.  But VERY happy any time to find my footing, in a way that is clear; and in accordance with a higher power, such as science, health and life preparedness.

Poor kid!

Anyway, another imperfect “Sacred Mundane” blog post registered.

Onward we go.

But first;


Bunny Wanna Cheeseball?



About circuskitchen

performing artist, mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece... just a regular extraordinary person
This entry was posted in activism, animals, childhood, comedy, domestic life, education, faith, family, fight, fighting Fascism, food, forgiveness, health, learning, love, mental health, nature, parenthood, parenting, patience, work-life balance. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to For What Purpose??

  1. Jane Ann Nelson says:

    Heard a TED TALK on “FUN” Sunday on my local PBS station. What is the purpose of FUN? NOTHING! The only purpose of “fun” is “fun” and it IS healthy for kids and adults alike. It does help with both brain and physical health. The case was eloquently argued but that was the gist. So Gavin is correct about the only purpose of pursuing what he enjoys is fun. AND…. Mom is correct is guiding the amount of time fun crosses the line to unhealthy. 😀

    As always, enjoy reading your blogs. 😘

    Aunt Jane Ann


  2. Bubble Wow says:

    I agree with Jane Ann. Kudos to Gavin for standing up for his right to just be a kid having fun. And to Mom for keeping a limit on it. Adults do lots of things just for fun, exploiting the autonomy of being an adult. And most adults would claim “pure fun” clears their mind so they can pursue purposeful work better when they return to it.

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