Parenting: Getting Unstuck

June 13th 2018

delete sad dash

Today I said this to my daughter:

Me:  Sweetheart I want to talk with you about something.  You know how sometimes when you don’t like something or you get stressed, you… I don’t know a better way to describe it, but,  you kind of “Shut Down.”  Do you know what I mean?

Girl:  Yes.

Me:  Great.  Well what I’ve realized is that in those situations I don’t really KNOW how to help you!  Like the most recent example I can think of when you got home from school and I reminded you to do Bag-Jacket-Shoes-Potty-Hands?  And you stopped in your tracks; I saw your body get stiff and you clenched your fists.  You did not answer me and would not move.  I asked if I should stop talking and you nodded “Yes.”  Remember that?

Girl:  Yes.

Me:  Well at least that time I figured out to stop talking. (!)  But I can’t always just drop it and walk away.  Sometimes you “shut down” on us and there’s still things that need to get done.  Like if I’ve asked you many times to focus on your Morning Routine and it keeps not getting done.  In that case it’s not your privilege to just shut down and not do it.  So I was hoping you and I could come up with some different things I could try to HELP you get unstuck in those situations.  What do you think?


She liked the idea.  We agreed to brainstorm some ideas, and write them on “Get Unstuck Cards” to try in those situations.

Here are some of our ideas so far:

  • deep breaths
  • Hug
  • 2 minute mindfulness break
  • carefully try to crack a joke
  • stop talking, walk away
  • cuddle an animal
  • take a short break outside
  • ?


Um… if you have any more ideas please comment below!

delete stuck in the mud


About circuskitchen

performing artist, mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece... just a regular extraordinary person
This entry was posted in activism, art, childhood, domestic life, faith, family, fight, forgiveness, health, learning, love, making art, mental health, Mindfulness, parenthood, patience, work-life balance. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Parenting: Getting Unstuck

  1. Rachel H Fennell says:

    One of my getting unstuck tricks is reminding myself that the chore or task I am avoiding will probably take me only 5 minutes. And if I have a longer task, like folding laundry, I do something I enjoy WITH it, like watching tv or listening to music.

  2. Rachel: Thanks coming back across your comment here, I have been reminded today of the follow through that CJ and I still need to do. THANK YOU for your feedback; so appreciated!

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