Tuesday, March 20th 2018
1 ) Pre-Op Emergency
We start the morning in Pre-Op, scrubbing in. Our hands are barely wet when a nurse grabs us for an “Emergency!” She brings us to the room of a boy who is visibly upset (about to go into surgery, go figure). A few songs, bubbles and sillies later he’s calmed down and getting wheeled off to the OR. “Thank you!” says the nurse. “Anytime,” we say. You totally turned him around,” she says.
2) To Impress or Not to Impress
A few bays down, after not really impressing a young boy with our dumb antics, we’re moving on. Then from behind their curtain we hear, “I could hang out with those two ALL DAY. They’re FUN!”
3) Close to Home
It finally happens; we visit a boy with the exact same name and age of my very own son. He is charming and delightful and accompanied by two loving parents. He properly enjoys our farts, burps, chase scenes around the curtains culminating in ventriloquist farts and Shakespearean burps. Later we even pass him going for a walk around the hallways, so that’s encouraging. My heart skips only a few beats.
4) My Left Foot and Right Foot
We visit a kid with only tendrils for arms whose head is supported by a halo brace suspended from above. He summons us in without taking any of his intense focus off the screen where he shows us his three favorite things; basketball, FIFA football and gangsta rap. He is extremely adept at manipulating the keyboard with his feet, and friendly. We had quite the conversation in french/creole. “Je ne parle pa fransay” he says (I don’t speak french). “Alors je ne parles jamais creole” (well I don’t speak any Creole) I say. Yet there we were, chatting it up the whole time. He happily takes our postcard and sticker before we leave, one in between the toes of each of his feet.
5) Silent Protest
Oh my. This family with two little boys; one the patient and one a brother. The patient
*almost* succeeds in proving his claim that he “can’t laugh” because of pain. Meanwhile the little brother succeeds completely; leaning on his brother’s bed and studying us intently the whole time, he gives NO response until later in the hallway. “Look there they are!” she says. Finally he speaks, “But they just fart every day!” he complains. #True.
6) Doc Skeeeter:
OMG: Frankly pretty much everything Doc Skeeter does is fabulous and on point. And fortunately I guess he’s pretty secure in himself because when we partner I seem to spend much of my time throwing him under the bus, wapping him with my outstretched arm while taking gratutitous bows, or pressing on his belly to squeeze out a long slow dramatic fart. My favorite is when his startle response includes a fart, and then he reacts from there.
7) Joke Harvest du Jour
Today’s Jokes (from a 5 year old boy and 14 year old girl, respectively):
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.
Q: What did one volcano say to the other?
A: I lava you.
Q: Why do giraffes have such long necks?
A: Because their feet stink!
Q: What did one alligator say to the other alligator who was stealing something?
A: Stop being such a crookadile!
Q: What do you call a camel with no humps?
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth.
A: A gummy bear!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling crummy.
To which we added:
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?