Tuesday, March 20th 2018
1 ) Pre-Op Emergency
We start the morning in Pre-Op, scrubbing in. Our hands are barely wet when a nurse grabs us for an “Emergency!” She brings us to the room of a boy who is visibly upset (about to go into surgery, go figure). A few songs, bubbles and sillies later he’s calmed down and getting wheeled off to the OR. “Thank you!” says the nurse. “Anytime,” we say. You totally turned him around,” she says.
2) To Impress or Not to Impress

3) Close to Home

It finally happens; we visit a boy with the exact same name and age of my very own son. He is charming and delightful and accompanied by two loving parents. He properly enjoys our farts, burps, chase scenes around the curtains culminating in ventriloquist farts and Shakespearean burps. Later we even pass him going for a walk around the hallways, so that’s encouraging. My heart skips only a few beats.
4) My Left Foot and Right Foot

5) Silent Protest
Oh my. This family with two little boys; one the patient and one a brother. The patient
*almost* succeeds in proving his claim that he “can’t laugh” because of pain. Meanwhile the little brother succeeds completely; leaning on his brother’s bed and studying us intently the whole time, he gives NO response until later in the hallway. “Look there they are!” she says. Finally he speaks, “But they just fart every day!” he complains. #True.

6) Doc Skeeeter:
OMG: Frankly pretty much everything Doc Skeeter does is fabulous and on point. And fortunately I guess he’s pretty secure in himself because when we partner I seem to spend much of my time throwing him under the bus, wapping him with my outstretched arm while taking gratutitous bows, or pressing on his belly to squeeze out a long slow dramatic fart. My favorite is when his startle response includes a fart, and then he reacts from there.

7) Joke Harvest du Jour
Today’s Jokes (from a 5 year old boy and 14 year old girl, respectively):
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.
A: Put a little boogie in it.
Q: What did one volcano say to the other?
A: I lava you.
Q: Why do giraffes have such long necks?
A: Because their feet stink!
Q: What did one alligator say to the other alligator who was stealing something?
A: Stop being such a crookadile!
Q: What do you call a camel with no humps?
A: HUMPHREY!
A: HUMPHREY!
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth.
A: A gummy bear!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling crummy.
To which we added:
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No eyed deer!
and,
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: Fsh!
A: Fsh!
♥
Pretty good jokes. Here’s my latest favorite. Have you heard of the green ball theory? No? Well, what have you got when you have one green ball in one hand and another green ball in the other hand? You dunno? You have total control of the Jolly Green Giant.