Hospital Clowning: Joke Repository

September 2018

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(A working compilation in progress, if you will: )

STICKS AND BRICKS:

Q:  What’s brown and sticky?   /   A:  A stick.

Q:  What’s brown and stickier?   /   A:  A stick covered in poo.

Q:  What do you call a stick that won’t do anything you want?   /   A:  A STICK IN THE MUD!

Q:  What’s red and bad for your teeth? /   A: A brick.

 

Q:  What’s red and goes “dingle dangle?” /   A: A red dingle dangle.

Q:  What’s blue and goes “dingle dangle?” /   A: A blue dingle dangle.

Q:  What’s purple and goes “dingle dangle?” /   A:  Nothing; sorry they don’t come in purple.

 

KNOCK KNOCK:

Knock knock. / Who’s there. / “Who.” / Who who?   What are you an owl or something?

Knock Knock. / Who’s there?  / Cow say. /  Cow say who?  /  No, Cow say MOO silly!

Knock Knock. / Who’s there? / Owl say. / Owl say who? / That’s right you got it!

Knock knock. / Who’s there. / “Tide.” /Tide who?  / Tide of knock knock jokes yet?

 

ANIMALS: 

Q:  Why do giraffes have such long necks? / A:  Because their feet stink! (His butt also.)
Q:  Why was the giraffe late to the party? / A: Because he hit every light on the way.
Q:  What did one alligator say to the other alligator who was stealing something?
A:  Stop being such a crookadile!
Q:  What do you call a camel with no humps? / A:  HUMPHREY!
Q:  What do you call a bear with no teeth. / A:  A gummy bear!
Q:  What do you call a deer with no eyes? / A:  No eyed deer!
Q:  What do you call a fish with no eyes? / A:  Fsh!

Q:  Why do ducks have feathers?  /   A:  To cover their butt quack.

Q: What animal always goes to the baseball game? /  A:  A bat.

Q:  What was the first animal in space? / A:  The cow jumping over the moon.

Q:  Where does a cow go for a date? / A:  The MOOVIES.

Q:  What is a baby’s favorite reptile? / A:  A RATTLE-snake!

 

CELL PHONES /TECH DEVICES:

Q:  How does a turtle call his mom? / A: On a SHELL phone.

Q:  How do moms call their kids to dinner?  /  A:  The YELL phone.

Q:  How does a skeleton call their friends? / A:  On the TELE-BONE!

 

MEDICAL: 

Q:  Why did the cookie go to the doctor? / A:  It was feeling crummy.

 

PIRATE / OCEAN: 

Q:  Why is the ocean so friendly?  /   A:  Because it waves.

Q:  Why do seagulls fly over the sea?  /  A: Because if they flew over the bay they’d be bagels.

Q:  What happens when you throw all the books into the ocean?  / A:  A TITLE WAVE!

 

HALLOWEEN: 

Q:  What did one owl say to the other?  / A: Happy Owl-oween!

Knock knock. / Who’s there. / “Boo.” / Boo who? / Aw it’s okay, don’t cry!

Q:  What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? / A:  FROSTBITE!

Q:  How does a skeleton call their friends? / A:  On the TELE-BONE!

Q:  Who helped the monster go to the ball? /  A:  Its SCARY GODMOTHER!

 

SNOWMAN / WINTER: 

Q:  What falls down in winter but never gets hurt?  /  A: SNOW!

Q:  What does a snowman eat for breakfast?  / FROSTED FLAKES!

Q:  What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? / FROST BITE!

FOOD: 

 

Q:  What do you call a sad strawberry? / A:  A blueberry.

Q:  Why did the kid do a dance before drinking their orange juice?  /   A:  The carton said to “SHAKE WELL BEFORE DRINKING!”

Q:  What’s the difference between a cow and a banana?   /   A:  A banana is yellow.

Q:  What does a snowman eat for breakfast?  / FROSTED FLAKES!

Q:  What did the baker say when they found the dough they’d lost? / A: “That’s just what I KNEADED!”

Q:  Why don’t the lions at the circus eat the clowns? /  A:  They TASTE FUNNY!

Q:  When do you stop at green and go on red? /  A: While eating a WATERMELON!

 

SCHOOL:

Q: Why did the student eat the homework? / A: B/c teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q:  Why don’t you write with a pencil that’s missing a tip?  / A:  It’s pointless!

Q:  Why did the parents scream when they saw their kid’s report card? / A:  It had a BEE on it!

Q:  What happens when you throw all the books into the ocean?  / A:  A TITLE WAVE!

Q:  Why was the king only a foot tall? /  A:  He was a RULER!

Q: Why did the kid need a ladder to go to school? /  A:  It was a HIGH SCHOOL!

FRIENDSHIP:

Q: What did one glue say to the other? /  A:  Let’s STICK TOGETHER!

Q: What did one wall say to the other? /  A:  Let’s MEET AT THE CORNER!

 

JUGGLING:

Q: What kind of balls don’t bounce? / A:  EYEBALLS!

 

CAMPFIRE:

Q: What do PB&J do around the campfire? / A:  Tell TOAST stories!

Q:  Why do trees nap?  /  A:  FOR-REST!

 

SPORTS:

Q:  Why do baseball pitchers avoid bat caves?  / A:  Too many BATS!

 

DENTAL: 

Q:  Why did the queen go to the dentist? /  A:  To get CROWNS on her teeth!

ANATOMY:

Q:  What kinds of hats do you wear on your knees? /  A:  KNEE CAPS!

Q:  What did the sock say to the foot? / A:  SHOE!

RIDDLE:

Q:  What gets wet as it dries? /  A:  A TOWEL!

 

 

RANDO: 

Q:  What is a tornado’s favorite game?  /   A:  Twister.

Q:  Where do generals keep their armies? /  A:  In their SLEEVIES!

Q:  Why did the king only a foot tall? /  A:  He was a RULER!

Q:  What do you call a silly doorbell? /  A:  A DING DONG!

 


If by the end of the day I’ve made just one child happy… I must not be very good at my job.”

About circuskitchen

performing artist, mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece... just a regular extraordinary person
This entry was posted in art, childhood, comedy, faith, forgiveness, health, Hospital Clowning, Laughter League, learning, love, making art, mental health, patience, Performing Life, work. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Hospital Clowning: Joke Repository

  1. Jane Ann Nelson says:

    2nd grade humor! Doesn’t get any better.

    Why did the chicken cross the road. A. To prove he wasn’t chicken.

    Why did the turkey the cross the road? A. To proves wasn’t a chicken.

    Jane Ann Nelson Senior Talent Recruitment Manager Imprimis

    >

  2. Thanks Jane Ann, Love ’em!

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