Sunday, June 10th 2018
AT RISE: The Oberhauser Four are at the dinner table relishing daddy’s beautiful display of fajitas.
CJ: Gavin, would you rather never play on a computer again, or never play with friends?
G: That’s easy. Friends. I’d just play on an XBox or a tablet, ha ha!
CJ: No when I said computer I meant… I meant…
Mom: Any electronic device?
G: Oh dang. Friends then. Yeah, friends.
CJ: OK Gavin you ask me a ‘Would You Rather!’ Me or mommy or daddy.
G: OK. Mom… would you rather… drink a bottle THIS. FULL. of distilled… California Ghost Pepper… extract oil… concentrate? O-O-OR… live the rest of your life hungry and thirsty. And unable to taste food.
Me: Wait, WHAT! [discussion] Just kill me now with the pepper juice.
G: Wait no. OK, forget the ghost peppers. OK. So, Would You Rather; live the rest of your life hungry, thirsty and unable to taste, OR… you have to wear a MAGA hat that’s stuck to your head forever and you can never take it off.
Me: Um… can we just go back to the pepper juice?
Dad: I’m retreating to the couch. [Retreats to couch.]
SIDE NOTE: [Call me too easily impressed, but I’m amazed at my kids coming up with this stuff. ]
FAST FORWARD: [Kids double dog dare mom to eat some raw jalapeno slices leftover from dinner. They agree to try some too. Mom and kids try said peppers and frantically set about to quell the fire now inside their faces. Dad watches from safe distance with delicious pleasure.]
Kids: YOU try one Daddy!