Hospital Clowning: Workshop Day

October 16th-18th 2017

Was SO looking forward to the first workshop day with my new hospital clown team mates.  And it WAS wonderful.  And I LOVE them.  Especially every single one of them!

And our team therapist, and most of the clown exercises; even when they were uncomfortable or confusing, excruciating or challenging, and requiring great trust and vulnerability.

Unfortunately there were also aspects of it that left me embarrassed, dismayed, awkward, shrinking and ashamed.  Really shitty feelings basically.  For reasons beyond my understanding, this has affected me beyond my ability to shake the deep feeling of ICK I’m experiencing inside.  It’s oozing sadness and I’m perplexed as to WHY it’s so acute.

So if I don’t look like much of a clown in our group shot above, that might explain it.
)●=

I know I’ll get through it (obvs), especially as I’m performing my FIRST full day off rounds TOMORROW.

Oh well.  It was just one f*cking workshop.  My team mates are still all 100% the tops, and that’s all that matters.

“MOM!! DO WE HAVE ANY MORE EMOTIONAL HYGIENE?!?”

(●:}☆

About circuskitchen

performing artist, mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece... just a regular extraordinary person
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2 Responses to Hospital Clowning: Workshop Day

  1. Bubble Wow says:

    Well, that’s interesting. Would love to hear more about this experience, should you be interested in sharing. I guess it’s not too surprising that a workshop of this nature might be designed to take participants apart so they can be put back together in what is considered an optimal manner for the job at hand. But sorry for the downer.

    • Thank you Mom! The important thing is that I *knew* I could trust our director (who anomalously had to be away that day) and reached out to her for help in getting unstuck. It worked! Also true that not every workshop leader is a good fit for every actor, so i don’t need to feel so odd&out. She also says my obvious sensitivity could well serve the work we do. I promised her I’m also super tough and thanked her for trusting me. ♡

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